No Good Faith Communication Reactive, Not Proactive
Settlement requires "forthwith inform" — Ms. Attar forces information extraction
Article XI, §V, p.30 requires proactive "forthwith inform" on medical matters — not reactive compliance only after Mr. Moukdad asks repeatedly.
Pattern Summary
Ms. Attar does not proactively provide required medical information about Isabella. Instead, she forces Mr. Moukdad to extract information through repeated requests. This is reactive compliance under pressure, not the proactive good faith cooperation required by the Settlement.
📊 PROACTIVE vs. REACTIVE (Nov 25, 2025 Example)
| Settlement Requires (Proactive) | What Rima Provided | What Sam Had to ASK For |
|---|---|---|
"Forthwith inform" of illness with complete details:
|
8:29 AM initial message:
"She had a fever before she went to bed and a fever early this morning. I am giving her Tylenol Motrin and Mucinex." ❌ No temps, no dosages, no timing, no specifics |
9:15 AM Sam's request:
→ All info settlement requires PROACTIVELY |
| ✅ Good Faith = Proactive | ❌ Reactive = Forces Extraction | ⚠️ Sam does Rima's job for her |
Then at 9:32 AM (17 min later), Rima accuses SAM: "It's like pulling teeth to get any information at all"
The Pattern:
- Isabella becomes sick during Ms. Attar's parenting time
- Ms. Attar provides minimal or no medical details proactively
- Mr. Moukdad must ASK for basic information (temperature, dosages, symptoms)
- Ms. Attar responds (sometimes after significant delay), then ACCUSES Mr. Moukdad of being the one who doesn't provide information
"Like pulling teeth to get any information" — This is Ms. Attar's own description of what SHE experiences. The evidence shows she does exactly this to Mr. Moukdad.
⚖️ Legal Training vs. Conduct
Ms. Attar's legal background makes this pattern particularly concerning. As a licensed attorney, she understands that "forthwith inform" creates an affirmative obligation to proactively provide information. Her reactive approach demonstrates knowing violation of good faith requirements, not inadvertent oversight. See Attorney Status Pattern →
Evidence: November 25, 2025 Medical Information Extraction
November 25, 2025 at 8:29 AM
Context: Isabella sick with fever. Ms. Attar sent morning update saying Isabella had fever "before bed" and "early this morning" but did NOT provide temperature readings or dosage information proactively.
"She had a fever before she went to bed and a fever early this morning. I am giving her Tylenol Motrin and Mucinex."
What's Missing: Temperature readings (how high?), dosages (how much?), timing (when last given?)
Settlement Requirement: Article XI, §V, p.30 requires "forthwith inform" — temperature and dosage should be PROVIDED proactively, not withheld until asked.
November 25, 2025 at 9:15 AM (Mr. Moukdad Requests Details)
What Happened: Mr. Moukdad had to ASK for basic medical information that should have been provided in the initial update. He explicitly requests: temperature readings, dosages, frequency, energy level, symptoms, treatment plan.
This is Information EXTRACTION, not proactive cooperation.
November 25, 2025 at 9:32 AM (17 Minutes Later)
What Happened:
- 17-minute response delay for critical medical information about sick child
- Defensive accusation ("unlike when she's with you...") — projects her own behavior onto Mr. Moukdad
- NOW provides details that should have been in 8:29 AM initial update (temp readings, dosages)
- Proves the pattern: Information is REACTIVE (only after being asked), not PROACTIVE (provided voluntarily)
Source: OFW Messages Report 2025-11-25_13-35-35.txt
Verified: Nov 25, 2025 9:15 AM and 2025-11-25 09:32
The Projection Problem
Ms. Attar accuses Mr. Moukdad of the EXACT behavior she exhibits:
"Samir I always give you detailed information, unlike when she's with you and it's like pulling teeth to get any information at all and I have to wait hours."
The Evidence Shows:
- Who waited hours? Mr. Moukdad waited from 8:29 AM to 9:32 AM (1 hour 3 minutes) for complete medical information he should have received immediately.
- Who makes it "like pulling teeth"? Mr. Moukdad had to specifically ASK for: (1) temperature readings, (2) medication dosages, (3) frequency of administration, (4) symptom details, (5) treatment plan.
- Who "always" provides detailed information? Ms. Attar's initial 8:29 AM message was INCOMPLETE — missing all critical medical details that Settlement requires.
Settlement Standard: Article XI, §V, p.30 requires "forthwith inform each other of any illness" — Ms. Attar's reactive, incomplete, defensive communication pattern violates this requirement.
Why This Matters
- Violates Settlement Foundation: "Forthwith inform" is not optional. Mr. Moukdad should not have to extract basic medical information.
- Creates Unnecessary Conflict: Forcing information extraction creates tension and wastes time that should be focused on Isabella's care.
- Undermines Joint Legal Custody: Mr. Moukdad cannot make informed medical decisions (Art. III, p.6 joint legal custody) if Ms. Attar withholds information until asked.
- False Accusations: Ms. Attar accuses Mr. Moukdad of the behavior SHE exhibits, creating false equivalency ("both parents do this").
- Pattern of Bad Faith: Reactive compliance only under pressure is NOT good faith cooperation (Art. XI, §F, p.17).
Historical Pattern (2021-2025)
This November 25 incident is not isolated. The pattern of medical information extraction spans 4+ years:
- 19+ medical visits documented (2021-2025) — Ms. Attar consistently makes unilateral medical decisions
- 6 wellness checkups — Zero consultation with Mr. Moukdad beforehand
- November 23-24, 2025 urgent care — Unilateral decision to take Isabella to urgent care, Mr. Moukdad notified AFTER arriving
- Admission on recording: "Well when she's with me I can" — Ms. Attar believes she has unilateral authority during her parenting time
The Settlement Requires:
- Article III, p.6: Joint legal custody — medical decisions require CONSULTATION, not unilateral action
- Article XI, §V, p.30: "Forthwith inform" each other of illness — PROACTIVE information sharing
- Article XI, §F, p.17: "Advise and consult with each other in good faith" — reactive compliance under pressure is NOT good faith
Proposed Solution
PC Directive: Proactive Medical Information Sharing Protocol
Issue Addressed: Reactive medical information sharing forces information extraction, violating Article XI, §V, p.30 "forthwith inform" requirement
PC Directive:
"When either parent notifies the other of Isabella's illness, the notification MUST include complete medical information proactively, not require the other parent to ask for details.
Required information (when applicable):
- Temperature readings (actual numbers, not just "fever")
- Medication administered (name, dosage, time given)
- Symptoms observed (specific, not just "sick")
- Treatment plan (home care, doctor visit, urgent care, etc.)
- Any medical appointments scheduled (time, location, provider)
Settlement Requirement: Article XI, §V, p.30 requires parties to 'forthwith inform each other of any illness.' This means COMPLETE information provided PROACTIVELY, not reactive compliance after repeated requests.
Example of Compliant Communication:
'Isabella woke with fever. Temperature 101.5°F at 7:00 AM. Gave Tylenol 10ml at 7:15 AM. She's resting, energy level seems normal. Will monitor and update in 4 hours or sooner if fever spikes.'
Non-Compliant Communication:
'She has a fever. I gave her medicine. She's fine.' (Requires other parent to extract details)
Implementation: Effective immediately. Both parties acknowledge understanding at next PC session.
Monitoring: Any instance of incomplete illness notifications requiring information extraction should be flagged for PC review.
Related Patterns
- Admitted Retaliation - "I give the same courtesy I receive" (conditional cooperation)
- Projection Pattern - Accuses Mr. Moukdad of behavior she exhibits
- Compliance Hypocrisy - Demands compliance from Mr. Moukdad while violating same provisions
- Aggressive Attitude - Defensive/hostile response to settlement citations