No Good Faith Communication Pattern

Attar v. Moukdad - Jane Pearl, Parent Coordinator

No Good Faith Communication Reactive, Not Proactive

Settlement requires "forthwith inform" — Ms. Attar forces information extraction

Article XI, §V, p.30 requires proactive "forthwith inform" on medical matters — not reactive compliance only after Mr. Moukdad asks repeatedly.

Pattern Summary

Ms. Attar does not proactively provide required medical information about Isabella. Instead, she forces Mr. Moukdad to extract information through repeated requests. This is reactive compliance under pressure, not the proactive good faith cooperation required by the Settlement.

📊 PROACTIVE vs. REACTIVE (Nov 25, 2025 Example)

Settlement Requires (Proactive) What Rima Provided What Sam Had to ASK For
"Forthwith inform" of illness with complete details:
  • Temperature readings
  • Medication dosages
  • Timing of doses
  • Symptom details
  • Energy level
  • Treatment plan
8:29 AM initial message:

"She had a fever before she went to bed and a fever early this morning. I am giving her Tylenol Motrin and Mucinex."

❌ No temps, no dosages, no timing, no specifics

9:15 AM Sam's request:
  • "What was the temperature each time?"
  • "And the dosages u r giving and how often?"
  • "Energy wise? Like how is she?"
  • "Is she stuffy?"
  • "What is the course of action today?"

→ All info settlement requires PROACTIVELY

✅ Good Faith = Proactive ❌ Reactive = Forces Extraction ⚠️ Sam does Rima's job for her

Then at 9:32 AM (17 min later), Rima accuses SAM: "It's like pulling teeth to get any information at all"

SETTLEMENT VIOLATION: Article XI, §V, p.30 requires parties to "forthwith inform each other of any illness" — this means PROACTIVE notification, not waiting for the other parent to ask.

The Pattern:

  1. Isabella becomes sick during Ms. Attar's parenting time
  2. Ms. Attar provides minimal or no medical details proactively
  3. Mr. Moukdad must ASK for basic information (temperature, dosages, symptoms)
  4. Ms. Attar responds (sometimes after significant delay), then ACCUSES Mr. Moukdad of being the one who doesn't provide information

"Like pulling teeth to get any information" — This is Ms. Attar's own description of what SHE experiences. The evidence shows she does exactly this to Mr. Moukdad.

⚖️ Legal Training vs. Conduct

Ms. Attar's legal background makes this pattern particularly concerning. As a licensed attorney, she understands that "forthwith inform" creates an affirmative obligation to proactively provide information. Her reactive approach demonstrates knowing violation of good faith requirements, not inadvertent oversight. See Attorney Status Pattern →

Evidence: November 25, 2025 Medical Information Extraction

November 25, 2025 at 8:29 AM

Context: Isabella sick with fever. Ms. Attar sent morning update saying Isabella had fever "before bed" and "early this morning" but did NOT provide temperature readings or dosage information proactively.

From Ms. Attar's 8:29 AM message:
"She had a fever before she went to bed and a fever early this morning. I am giving her Tylenol Motrin and Mucinex."

What's Missing: Temperature readings (how high?), dosages (how much?), timing (when last given?)

Settlement Requirement: Article XI, §V, p.30 requires "forthwith inform" — temperature and dosage should be PROVIDED proactively, not withheld until asked.

November 25, 2025 at 9:15 AM (Mr. Moukdad Requests Details)

"What was the temperature each time? And the dosages u r giving and how often? I am asking because yesterday you did not have everything. Energy wise? Like how is she? I get she's sick but how is she? Is she stuffy? What is the course of action today? Please give me detailed information so I don't have to worry about what is going on. Thank you."

What Happened: Mr. Moukdad had to ASK for basic medical information that should have been provided in the initial update. He explicitly requests: temperature readings, dosages, frequency, energy level, symptoms, treatment plan.

This is Information EXTRACTION, not proactive cooperation.

November 25, 2025 at 9:32 AM (17 Minutes Later)

"Samir I always give you detailed information, unlike when she's with you and it's like pulling teeth to get any information at all and I have to wait hours. And then you tell me, 'I don't know, she's with my mom'. Last night 101, this morning 103.7. Energy is great she was dancing all morning. She is stuffier now because the mucinex. She started sneezing after I gave it to her, so it's doing its job. 10 ml of each Tylenol and Motrin."

What Happened:

  • 17-minute response delay for critical medical information about sick child
  • Defensive accusation ("unlike when she's with you...") — projects her own behavior onto Mr. Moukdad
  • NOW provides details that should have been in 8:29 AM initial update (temp readings, dosages)
  • Proves the pattern: Information is REACTIVE (only after being asked), not PROACTIVE (provided voluntarily)
SETTLEMENT VIOLATION: Article XI, §V, p.30 "forthwith inform" means Mr. Moukdad should NOT have to ask. Temperature readings and medication dosages should be provided immediately when reporting illness.

Source: OFW Messages Report 2025-11-25_13-35-35.txt

Verified: Nov 25, 2025 9:15 AM and 2025-11-25 09:32

The Projection Problem

Ms. Attar accuses Mr. Moukdad of the EXACT behavior she exhibits:

Ms. Attar (Nov 25, 9:52 AM):
"Samir I always give you detailed information, unlike when she's with you and it's like pulling teeth to get any information at all and I have to wait hours."

The Evidence Shows:

Settlement Standard: Article XI, §V, p.30 requires "forthwith inform each other of any illness" — Ms. Attar's reactive, incomplete, defensive communication pattern violates this requirement.

Why This Matters

Historical Pattern (2021-2025)

This November 25 incident is not isolated. The pattern of medical information extraction spans 4+ years:

The Settlement Requires:

Proposed Solution

PC Directive: Proactive Medical Information Sharing Protocol

Issue Addressed: Reactive medical information sharing forces information extraction, violating Article XI, §V, p.30 "forthwith inform" requirement

PC Directive:

"When either parent notifies the other of Isabella's illness, the notification MUST include complete medical information proactively, not require the other parent to ask for details.

Required information (when applicable):

  • Temperature readings (actual numbers, not just "fever")
  • Medication administered (name, dosage, time given)
  • Symptoms observed (specific, not just "sick")
  • Treatment plan (home care, doctor visit, urgent care, etc.)
  • Any medical appointments scheduled (time, location, provider)

Settlement Requirement: Article XI, §V, p.30 requires parties to 'forthwith inform each other of any illness.' This means COMPLETE information provided PROACTIVELY, not reactive compliance after repeated requests.

Example of Compliant Communication:
'Isabella woke with fever. Temperature 101.5°F at 7:00 AM. Gave Tylenol 10ml at 7:15 AM. She's resting, energy level seems normal. Will monitor and update in 4 hours or sooner if fever spikes.'

Non-Compliant Communication:
'She has a fever. I gave her medicine. She's fine.' (Requires other parent to extract details)

Implementation: Effective immediately. Both parties acknowledge understanding at next PC session.

Monitoring: Any instance of incomplete illness notifications requiring information extraction should be flagged for PC review.

Related Patterns

View All Proposed Solutions →